A Psychosocial Unit

            Most of us have heard the term “team,” growing up.  Whether we were part of baseball or ballet, we learned the basics of a group working together towards a common goal:  to win! 

Before modern technology, we used “teams” to get the job done; a team of oxen to pull the plow or wagon, a team or horses to pull the carriage, a team of men to design the beginnings of a new city.  We have always used teams.  Some of the Pioneers used teams of oxen to travel approximately 1,300 miles across the United States; an outstanding distance by anyone’s standards back then, and that’s still a long way to walk.  Thankfully, the oxen were trained and able to work with each other to travel that great distance through mud, snow, and seemingly endless plains.  But what if they hadn’t been?

Imagine a covered wagon being pulled by two strong oxen; one on the left and one on the right.  Imagine the wagon driver with a rope in each hand with the end of the ropes tied to each ox.  Now for a little test; don’t stress, you don’t have to study for this one, just use your imagination. 

Is the driver going to be able to control oxen?  Are the oxen going to work together?  How do they know how to work together?  Will the wagon even move?

Any thoughts?  I’ll make it easy; the answer to all 4 questions is: “No”.  The powerful oxen would pull the rope straight out of the driver’s hands, most likely going in separate directions, leaving the covered wagon in the dust (don’t worry if you didn’t pass the test, this one wasn’t for a grade).

There are three fundamental truths illustrated in our little quiz:

1.      Humility

2.      Love

3.      Teamwork

A close acquaintance of mine is a farmer and has been for decades, one of the wisest men I’ve ever met.  On one occasion, he was explaining to me how he trains his cattle to work in teams.  He explained that after he picked out a team, he would take a single rope and tie it around the necks of each ox leaving them about 3ft of slack.  He described how, at first, the oxen find even the simplest of tasks very difficult.  However, only a few days later, we can find the 2 oxen sleeping, drinking, eating, and walking in nearly perfect synchronization. 

When they are finally yoked to a wagon, plow or other machinery, they still pull in unison.  Even if one of them is significantly larger and stronger than the other, they have learned to adjust to each other’s strengths and weaknesses and pull together as one.

Now, as you have probably guessed, this is just a super long analogy about the family.  When Mom and Dad are “equally yoked” the whole team moves forward with ease.  This is what a family unit is.

Parents should be close to one another, helping, supporting and cheering one another on through mud, sunshine, and snow; never letting the other down, but let’s not forget the kids! 

Adding children to the mix only enriches the circle. Mom and Dad form the executive system, meaning they’re in charge and they set the example and teach what is right and what is wrong.  They become the leaders of the pack.  As they caringly, but firmly, guide and protect, the family becomes a close-knit circle of trust, safety, and love.  This allows deep bonds to be made both in the executive system (Mom & Dad) and in the family system as a whole.

So, Moms & Dads?  Love one another; respect each other; have fun together and your children will love, respect, and have fun with you.

 

Love,

MP